I hate myself so much. I would be better off dead. At least I couldn’t fuck things up then.
im on medications, but the only thing its doing is making my split personality quieter.
which I do not enjoy in the slightest.
shes always been there, even when no one else was. she was the one who gave me confidence. she was the one who made me mature. she was my intelligence.
Now she so quiet. I can still feel her, but I cant hear her anymore. I don’t want her to disappear. I don’t want to be all alone.
My eating disorder is back full swing, I have gone three days without eating, and the only reason I ate is because I went out with a friend. I got so sick afterwards. The smell, and even the though of food makes my stomach churn. I haven’t lost any weight though.
suicidal thoughts are still around.
and the only reason I haven’t cut is because my mom keeps asking to see my legs. im going to have to find a new spot.
im still broken and now im losing my best friend.
I will never tell them about her though.
I don’t want people to think im crazy.
I know that the people ive already told think im nuts.
I know it.
Please dont Interrupt
I hate it when my parents make food. if I eat it, i’ll feel like a fat cow. if I don’t eat it, ill feel guilty for not eating the food they made.